paint my house. If you like these paint jokes, have a look over here for an alphabetical index of joke topics. She finally goes to one house, and a guy and his wife come to the door. No strings attached.” “Wh The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. Santa comes to the White House.... Santa arrives at the White House and hands Donald Trump his Christmas present. Heres my candidate: Mike gets a call at work he had been waiting for. Similar jokes. You cant even say black paint any more, you have to say "Tyrone, please will you paint my house?" 575. The baby is coming and the wifes already at the hospital! 5. Report Save. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. The contractor writes something down on his notepad, goes over to the window and yells down "green side up". 85. 8 years ago. ! When she asked a man if he needed help with anything around his house, he replied, “You can paint my porch for 50 dollars.” The blonde agreed to paint […] 0. I can’t wait to see how it turns out.” “I’m making a plan to save money for a Velcro sofa. Naked painting. House Painting Joke: One summer day, a blonde told her husband before he left for work that she was going to paint the house that day. Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. Car. Trump excitedly tears open his gift then looks up at Santa in shock. Leave a Comment Cancel reply + 9 = ten. Apr 25, 2014 - I decided I'd help my love paint the house, an hour later I'm inside swearing I will never make that mistake again. "Sure, I have a job for you," says the guy, "You can paint my porch. Mo Monet.....More Problems. Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Paint My House (1225 Views) I Was In My House And Trailer Came To Jam Me - Word Crib / I Killed Them Because They Invaded My House / BREAKING: A Man Commits Suicide Near My House (1) JAY AND PIMPING TRYED TO PAINT MY CHALLENGER WITH HOUSE PAINT FOLLOW ME ON INSTGRAM https://www.instagram.com/cj_on_32 #newpaint#joke#funny You may not think paint color makes a huge difference, but the shades you choose for your rooms can send all sorts of different signals. Specializing in custom gifts and artwork. Search for Fun. How much will you charge?” The blonde said “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The world has just gotten way too politically correct You can't even say something as completely innocent as "black paint", for example. Joke has 49.40 % from 205 votes. Continue this thread level 2. Mar 8, 2014 - Explore Paintpourri's board "Paint and Decorating Humor", followed by 318 people on Pinterest. 8 years ago. A blonde wanted to earn extra money on the weekends. “Do you want to hear a roof joke? Two painters paint a house and hand the customer the bill. He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. Tony. I'd hang you by the Mona Lisa and put that girl to shame. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.". Can you one-up me in "most offensive joke you know"? So they do this, and begin painting their room. Yeah, I know, it's an old joke. This heat is no joke!!! The joke, played forwards, is sampled in the Soul Coughing song "$300" on El Oso. I'd like to hear your worst. The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. level 1. A ship load of red paint crashed into a ship load of blue paint. Report Save. And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. He pulls out a ten, two five’s, a twenty and ten ones. And I plan on sticking to it.” “Deep thought of the day: When you clean out a vacuum, you become a vacuum cleaner.” “Broken macrame planter for sale. The owner of the house, a rich man by any standard, looks speculatively at the painter. Makes it better imo though. He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!". I like it! How many babies does it take to paint a house? So I said to him, "I'm going to pause to let that sink in". Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? They painted the house, so the paint is on the house, and "on the house" is a colloquialism meaning free. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. I would paint it on, no joke Paint my house. The crews were marooned. Funny joke of the day is carefully selected joke. When a group of black people are complimenting Chris on "Niggas vs. Black People," Chappelle is the one that asks Rock if he "smokes weed." She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition.". 1.9k. Paint my house. nsfw. He perceives a vibrant entrepreneurial spirit, which reminds him of his own ambition in his younger days. Did This Man Find Proof The NFL is Rigged? A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, "I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks." nsfw. I said, 'Bitch, paint my house!'" 7. She takes him into the first room and tells him that she wants it painted pale green. he asks. Technology Publishing Co., 1501 Reedsdale Street, Suite 2008, Pittsburgh, PA 15233. Paint my house." He perceives a vibrant entrepreneurial spirit, which reminds him of his own ambition in his younger days. He is taken away by the police on charges of lese majeste (insulting the monarch). Paint my house. Fellow comedian Dave Chappelle is one of the voices heard on the album. A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered. Common. Back to: Blonde Jokes. "Anything," she agrees eagerly. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. ", Santa exclaims. Goal is to have funny joke every day. "Anything?" Three guys are walking home when they spot a house party, they get to the door and realize it's costume only, one of them notices a red can of paint in the garbage and paints his face red walks to the door a says I'm red with anger, second guy spot a green can of spray paint and sprays his face sayi ... upvote downvote report. After a couple weeks with no luck, she decides to go around to some of the rich people's houses and see if she can do some odd jobs for them to make a little money. One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, Olivia Munn Plays the New Xbox, but People Are More Interested in Her Choice of Snacks, Overweight Guy Wows Everyone With Huge Air On Water Slide, 31 Heartwarming Moments For a Wholesome Break, 28 Dank Pics and Memes to Improve the Mood, 28 Cool Pics and Funny Memes to Scroll With, 25 Funny Work Memes That Tell It like It Is. A blonde moves to Beverly Hills, hoping to find an acting job. Was watching Netflix with my friend when the new sink I ordered finally reached my house. Vote: share joke. A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I’ll do anything you want for 50 bucks.“ He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. Search . 31. Close. paint my house : by Sylvar: Fri May 05 2000 at 12:28:35: A euphemism for "fuck you", taken from the punchline of an old joke: Guy's walking down the street when a prostitute offers to do anything for $50. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. Anonymous. Can you one-up me in "most offensive joke you know"? Q: Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? A: Because from a distance they looked like hares! The customer notices that the men charged no money for the actual paint. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. There's a joke working its way around the White House recently.....It eats cheeseburgers in bed and wants to build a wall. Topic of Interest: painted porch joke, paint porch joke, paint my porch ferrari joke, paint the porch joke, painted poarch joke . He thinks for a moment and says, "Okay. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. The Earth without art is just Eh. Because from a distance, they looked like hare. Archived. A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, "I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.". Custom signs, serving trays and home decor. 3,712 likes. Simply capture or upload a photo of any aspect of your property and decorate with the best paint colors in the World to create a magical effect! "Hmmm. Man. Yes, I think my porch needs a coat or two of paint." The intuitive and responsive user interface makes Paint My Place easy and fun to use. Posted by 8 years ago. A woman calls a Contractor to her house to give her a bid on painting the interior of her house. ABOUT US: Laughter is the very best medicine as the old expression says, we at JokesPinoy.com will give you all the comical filipino quotes and pictures in tagalog language. TEL 1-412-431-8300 • FAX 1-412-431-5428 • EMAIL webmaster@paintsquare.com 3 years ago. 67. share. "I thought you LOVED coal. Add joke. Provide both public and private in-home workshops. ... An old political joke from Imperial Russia (reign of Nicholas II) A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a moron!". She went door-to-door in a wealthy neighborhood to find out who needed help with odd jobs. While walking down "K" St, I noticed the houses were numbered 32, 64, 128, 256, and 512. If it aint Baroque, then don't fix it. Well if I were a painter, I'd put you down in paint. 7 years ago. The customer says, “You guys did such a good job. It’s on the house.” “I got a reversible pillowcase for my birthday. Anonymous. Depends how hard you throw them. "What? My Painted House. What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. Last week’s pie jokes are here. She said, 'For $300, I'll do anything you want.' The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him. It was her day off and she wanted... the joke is just one of many funny jokes on Joke Buddha! They both used their brains to paint the ceiling. This joke took me the longest to get of any joke I've read in a long time. The Directions. 2. share. May 19, 2014 - This would be my house. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. Paint My Place is your design and editing DIY tool. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby , disgusting. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." “Well, you can paint my porch. A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered. Paint Job Joke. 4 years ago. He looked into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint my house.". Dirty Joke :  Poor guy  A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. Paint My House - Jokes Etc - Nairaland. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? "Hmmm. Yes, I think my porch needs a coat or two of paint." See more ideas about humor, painter humor, house painter. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones. The owner of the house, a rich man by any standard, looks speculatively at the painter. Now you have to say something like, "Tyrone, please paint my fence."