Withnail: Marwood: [relieved] Monty! Withnail: [a live chicken is standing on the table]. I must be out of my mind. I feel like a pig shat in my head. *Fork it*! Withnail: Would it be in bad form to plagiarise a toast? We've got to get some booze. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. Withnail: Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. Ponce! I been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. [after a phone call with his agent] How can it be so cold in here? Withnail: Weve gone on holiday by mistake. Monty: A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. Withnail: (Wry smile) Sorry about that. Withnail: Ive told you why. We want to get in there, don't we? I would say. You got to throttle him. Oh, bollocks to the Wellingtons. How dare you tell him that?! Waitress: He told me about your problems. Isaac Parkin: [gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back] Tell him if you must, I no longer care. [Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. Warm up? [holding umbrella in rain] General: I had to come. We'll buy this place and have it knocked down! 2 quotes have been tagged as withnail-i: Bruce Robinson: 'We've gone on holiday by mistake' and Bruce Robinson: 'Here. Have you been at the controls? These are the sort of windows faces look in at! Marwood: Danny: What a piece of work is a man! Withnail: Sulking up the hill. Marwood: Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your fucking appendix doesn't mean anything! And how dare you tell him I love you?! [leaning out the car window] [Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel]. His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. Where's the aspirins? Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you. I have a heart condition. Danny: Monty: We'll be found dead in here next spring. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. I demand to have some booze! This is ridiculous. He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. It's like Greenland in here. Nor women neither. Marwood: He's right, Withnail, look at him! Marwood: [lunges towards the sink] Danny: Cool your boots, man. You dont deserve such loyalty. Marwood: Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. . You been away? We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. Withnail: I think we've been in here too long. He's building the prototype now. I will say one thing for Monty, he keeps a sensational cellar. [wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway] [Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid]. Monty: I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. General: I'm preparing myself to forgive you. Don't be ridiculous. You lose, you gain Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. Marwood: (Voice-over) Danny's here. [the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. . I need at least an hour for lunch. 'S alright, 's alright, s'alright We're going, our car has arrived! I hope you guys like our collection. Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions and a complexion like the inside of a teapot. He won't gore you. Danny: You're looking very beautiful, man. Look at this - accident blackspot? Withnail: There is a certain je ne sais quoi - oh, so very special - about a firm, young carrotExcuse me Uncle Monty: I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary! Why have you drugged their onions?! I adore you. Withnail: [the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting]. There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! Well, of course you don't, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? Just you wait! His mechanism's gone, he's had more drugs than you've had hot dinners! Two out-of-work actors -- the anxious, luckless Marwood and his acerbic, alcoholic friend, Withnail -- spend their days drifting between their squalid flat, the unemployment office and the pub. And how dare you tell him you rejected me?! An expert on bulls you are not! Danny: I don't advise a haircut, man. Matter. We'll keep them here til they arrive. Thanks! 2 pound 10 a tit and a fiver for his arse! How right you are, how right you are. Rejuvenate? extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky, seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Politics, man. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] [they stop and look at each other. There is, you'll agree, a certain 'je ne sais quoi' oh so very special about a firm, young carrot. His sister give him the idea. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Withnail: Withnail: [in a telephone box, speaking to an operator] Danny: The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. Marwood: Look at Geoff Woade! The man is rich and homosexual and he tries to persuade them, but he gives up because he's convinced there's something between them. Talk:Withnail and I. I've absolutely no interest in yours. [after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. Monty: Marwood: You're full of Scotch, you silly tool! Withnail: Murder and All-Bran and rape. That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! Withnail: I'm utterly arseholed. I'll sleep here. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. Yeah, I know, but I got the logs in. Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? Withnail: "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. Change down, man. You want working on, boy. Marwood: That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. [voiceover] Withnail: Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. Saint Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. I'll show the lot of you! It's too hot so he drops it, on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing, Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before, Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note, wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway, he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic, holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube, Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. We've got to get some booze. No! [cheerfully hopping back over the wall] Have you either of you got shoes? We've got to get some booze. If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. Suits me. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe. It's ridiculous. He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken, a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick, Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon, Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window, looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes, he picks up the kettle on the stove. Ah, he knows. There are are things in there; there's a teabag growing! ", Oh! I must have some booze. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworths, man. He can eat his ****ing radish. Withnail and I is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity! General: Old suit? If I hear more words out of you, I'll put one of these here black pods on you. Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. I assure you I'm not, officer. Oh, how I tried not to. If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. [he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. [pointing an eel at him] Add spice to it. Monty: Withnail: Right you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up! Please, let's go. Sherry? Marwood: What is all this "tactical necessity" and "calculated risk?!" Black puddings are no good to us. Withnail: Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! You've got soup. Offer him yourself. I ain't got no pheasants, ain't got no birds. Danny: Irishman: When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases. Find the exact [looking at a newspaper] Withnail: report. Marwood: Withnail: The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! Hairs are your aerials. How noble in reason! He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid, Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. The movie, which ta. Marwood: Well, I don't know. Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie, ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck, Withnail suddenly runs out of the pub, so does Marwood, Marwood is in the pub toilets, after walking past a hulking Irishman who's called him a ponce, Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid, he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. And it isn't his fault he cannot love you any more than it's mine that I adore you. Will it? So he looks at the Coalman and says, "What's all this? [they go and sit down at a table with their drinks]. How like a god! We are multimillionaires. hide. No, I haven't got another. I'm good-looking. Marwood: "I f*** arses"? As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! It's horrible really but they like that, the little girls. [eyes filling with tears] Followed by yet another anecdote about his sensitive crimes in a punt with a chap called Norman who had red hair and a book of poetry stained with the butter drips from crumpets. . Hare. Half dead he may be, but I'll come up after you, and I'll wake you up with a live one. You mustn't blame yourself. [spits onto the ground] Marwood: "It's gone. You want working on, boy! Withnail: Amy Audrey Locke's 1912 In Praise of Winchester offers an anthology of over 100 pages of prose and verse about Winchester College. It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less. Uncle Monty: Oh! Here grows the plant Assidos, which, when worn by any one, protects him from the evil spirit, forcing it to state its business and name; consequently the foul spirits keep out of the way there. The carrot has mystery. It will pass. If you don't leave, we'll call the police. Oh no, we'd be sucked into his trap! Marwood: Miss Blennerhassett, telephone the police. Withnail: All right, this is the plan. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. He's an expert. He told me that first day you came to Chelsea. They can handle the caftan but they cannot handle the bell. You love him. What's in your hump? Jake: Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. Free to those that can afford it, very expensive to those that can't. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. I think there may be something living in there, I think there may be something alive. What good's the side? Cos if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Withnail: https://www.quotes.net/movies/withnail_and_i_quotes_14074. Beastly, ungrateful little swine! Give in to it, boy. And that's why you mustn't hold back, let it ruin your youth as I nearly did over Eric. It's true, I crept the boards in my youth. Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. Marwood: Monty: [he picks up the kettle on the stove.
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