Or are they just lame? Laura: Yeah, every time I used the bug spray. They help move along our sentences. I think I'm gonna have to fire Waldo, Steve. Laura Lee Winslow: Then she demanded her money back when she found out that she modeled ladies underwear. Wow, are you wearing a bra? Would you like that? Carl Otis Winslow: You know son, if Screwing Up ever became an Olympic event. Money has germs on it. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why aren't you? Steve Urkel: [about the music video] This is going to be the biggest bomb since Howard the Duck. You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's. I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! Did you see them work on Dora Fenswick? Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, why can't you manage money like your brother, Steve? Please, my little Rapunzel. Carl Otis Winslow: Yes and that's not all. Steve Urkel: But, I've been practicing and my progress is impressive, even if I do say so myself. Carl Otis Winslow: Laura, what's going on in here? No. Laura: You know, I shouldn't be mingling with the opposition, but I just wanted to tell you how handsome you look under fluorescent lighting. Well it's not cool. Laura Lee Winslow: Rachel Crawfish, you got me, and I like the St. Louis Cardinals. Harriette Winslow: Oh, well it's nice to meet you, Curtis. Never snort with a hangover! Where do I sign? Carl enters her room with Eddie, who is struggling to stifle his laughter.]. Steve Urkel: Well, it starts out with a little cough. Steve Urkel: No, I don't like to disturb anyone. Why would anybody want to kill her? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How could you mess this up? Carl Otis Winslow: Ohohoho and they are personal and private. Ms. Steuben: That's that's not funny, Steven. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah. Suppose I made it happen. Steve Urkel on CBS? [sees the kids] Oh my Lord! [Notices no one is there anymore] Well, I thought it was a good story. Eddie: [while Eddie and Carl where doing wiring for the satelite dish] Be Careful with those wires Dad. Steve Urkel: My Blood pressure. [laughs] Bye! But honey, let's put a positive spin on it. Cassie Lynn: Well, we just got some really hot photos of you being romanced by the Prince of Passion here. Rachel Crawford: [to Harriette] He's not gonna make him quack. Forget it, Steve. Why he showed great strength of character and what's his reward: you fire him. Besides it's just a joy ride what could go wrong? Here is the updated version of every line of Urkel's famous: "I've fallen and I can't get up" line from the show Family Matters.Here are the episodes in orde. Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. Your dad's runnin' late. Steve Urkel: This page is in Korean. Pretty girl, dark hair your sister for God's sake! "Some people are ignorant, they're afraid, they hate anybody and anything that's different. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable. We'll go camping together some other time. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I was thinking you could help me during the test. Laura and Judy, divide up the rest between Barbie doll fans and Lego lovers and get them upstairs too! [Handing out] Menu, menu, menu, menu, menu. I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Ms. Steuben: No, I'm a nervous teacher! Eddie swoops in and starts taking pictures]. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [Stands up] Dad, I'm not implying. Clarence: [walking into the Winslow house] Well if it ain't the Partridge family. Stefan Urkelle: Where did you learn all that? Steven Quincy Urkel: Land sakes, woman. Some of our pickup lines are just for laughs. [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the last one]. Waldo: Man, they didn't even know who we were. Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. Steve Urkel: Okay. Carl: Overreact? [laughs] But you never smile! Wha? Steven Quincy Urkel: Oh, put a cork in it, Missy! Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a a really special moment and well, I think we should celebrate it by getting married. There is no Steve here. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah? Aunt Oona: The water main snapped when the roof collapsed. "I have a pen, you have a phone number. Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? Harriette Winslow: Not as rough as Aunt Clotilda. Harriette Winslow: And I always mark the year, you gave it to me. Heapingly, overflowingly, full! Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker! Carl Otis Winslow: You look horrible. When I said my feelings for you might change, I was lying. Oh, good. Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. So long! "No mo giet itsu mana! Carl will understand. no. Get down from there! Waldo: [pause] Wow! I offered you my heart and you stomped that sucker flat! 7. Carl Otis Winslow: [furious] Edward is in jail. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The librarian, a white man that I'd known all my life, pushed me out into the street and told me never to come back. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? You're wrong, the maitre'd gave me a two for one coupon. My zipper." 5. Harriette Winslow: No, you don't have to remind me of nothing. Steve who? Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, they applauded when we left. What are you? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. Get me a cherry slurpy! [Calls Laura's Cell and gets OGD instead]. [the photographer takes a snap shot of Eddie nerously laughing as Carl drives him away]. You refuse to go out with me for the last decade! Harriette Winslow: Harsh? [Faces Eddie] Look at him, charming, handsome, popular. Carl Otis Winslow: Why not try the truth! Waldo: I said he Hey, you can't trick me! Harriette Winslow: For my birthday, you bought me an exercise trampoline. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh great, I'm gonna lose my toes. Willie Fuffner: But he wasn't, so chill out ok. Laura Lee Winslow: You just don't get it, do you. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Get lost, Laura! Steve Urkel: Oh, Gosh golly, Jeepers Creepers. Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cheating? Laura: [gasps] I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please forgive me. Why, it'll ruin my transcript! Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. Harriette Winslow: Did I embarrass you, Carl? I was kickin' butt. He is portrayed by Jaleel White. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. The people that did this to us are teaching the same GARBAGE to their kids. Steve Urkel: We met once. Harriette Winslow: Carl, those are my personal and private thoughts. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No no no no no. Can you carry me home? How did you know? [laughs]. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: What'cha gonna do, Willie? Carl Otis Winslow: There was an E.Coli scale in the chocolate and I tasted a few to make sure the box was safe. Chocum hi chip chok!". this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Who would've thought Harriette was a bit friendly. Laura: [as Steve and Laura walk in, the guests gasp again] Steve, everyone gasped. Steve Urkel: Well, ya see, we had a little muffin mayhem. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, guess what? Dad took Waldo instead of me. often referred to simply by his surname, Urkel, is the main protagonist of Family Matters. I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. Steve Urkel: Could. Wa chee! You have a lot of qualitites girls really go for. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [about Harriette's gingerbread house] This is a work of art. Newsflash, Eddie! People just love juicy gossip! My, what strong arms. Steve Urkel: I will not be bullied! Stefan Urkelle: I'll have to buy new parts for the chamber. Laura Lee Winslow: [as Laura Wigglesworth, pointing a gun at Johnny] The narration to finish! I can teach you how to cook. Did you think of me while you guys were camping? ", Harriette Winslow: She looked at me with tears in her eyes, and she said "Why, Mom?". Let's just get there! And him. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Oh man I didn't think you were this cool. Trying to cover it up would only make it worse. Steve Urkel: A little? I feel stupid! Stupid? Carl Otis Winslow: [packing up the camping gear] Boy that was great, a family weekend in the wilderness. Laura Lee Winslow: No, I think we learned that Steve's experiments has gone too far. Bushwhacker Luke: 'Cause they couldn't catch her till then! [music abruptly stops] Look at yourselves. Steve Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? You have the right to remain silent. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Yeah, I went to sleep and Stevil made a guest appearance. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Carl: I can't tell him I don't remember him! [Eddie leaves and Carl puts the chair away] Well that took care of everything. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I'm missing the parade. Would you care to heal them with a kiss? Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. He acts like a gangster, gangsters hate cops. "Tomorrow Dad!". Urkelbot: [Kojack Impression] Who loves ya, baby! Why, you might as well drop a boulder on my foot, shove bamboo shoots under my fingernails, or scoop my eyeballs out with a melon baler. Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, no thanks, I went before I left. They just love juicy gossip. Bye! Steve Urkel: Nine years, three months, two weeks, four days, six hours, eight minutes, and fourteen seconds fifteen seconds sixteen seconds. So, what's cookin', good lookin'? Waldo put today's date on the flyer. Carl Otis Winslow: I do not care what other people think. [removes Carl's napkin from his shirt and tosses it on the coffee table]. Rachel Crawford: Oh. I don't know what to say. Carl Otis Winslow: All right. Carl Otis Winslow: Society places too much emphasis on being thin. That's Lt. Murtaugh. Steve Urkel: Oh, I'd better lock it then! [splashes Waldo with the spiked punch]. He's half-Nerd, Half-Carl. Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. Steve Urkel: [ice pack on his head from a hangover, Carl just told him a story from his drinking days] Eh he he, ow, eh he he ow, [snorts] WHOOAAOOH! Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. [to Steve] I'm wearing you DOWN, baby! Harriette: Well, if he remembers you, he's used to you looking like a jerk. Eddie: Isn't there somebody else you could annoy? He breaks something a beaker along the way]. Eddo. She actually said, "Human Being". Come here, let me give you some sugar. Carl Otis Winslow: Only 2 of them were his. You know uh, Laura doesn't have a date for the prom either. [the half nerd side of Carl goes into the anatomy of worms. Laura Lee Winslow: If I hadn't started that petition, none of this would've happened. But I recognized him right away. Now you sleep tighty-tighy with all your mighty-might. [Eddie sits down and Carl grabs his hair]. I have feelings. If you hit me, do I not sneeze? Stefan Urkelle: Go home, go home, GO HOME! You're setting a bad example for the kids. He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons. He heads downstairs to confront Steve]. Carl: [in his regular voice] I have no idea. Ms. Steuben: Get a hold of yourself, Steven. And I'm sorry. [He leaves and minutes later Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his accordion]. Carl Otis Winslow: [Grabs his wallet] How much do you need? Sign up | Log in An . Steve Urkel: [to Carl] They actually give this guy bullets? You gotta fix that machineeeee. Pick a general observation about her personality. I can turn you down without destroying your ego. No. aries: "You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied. Steve Urkel: [reading] "No mouth breathing, no snorting, no drooling". Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny. Not bells, Swiss Melody Chimes. Carl Otis Winslow: Might have. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? I rushed her to the emergency room and the doctor said she has walking pneumonia. [Steve goes to answer the door] I'm going to consummate, I'm going to consummate. Anybody have more punch? Originally slated to have been a one-time only character on the show, he soon became its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist.. Steve is the epitome of a geek/nerd, with large, thick eyeglasses, flood . Harriette Winslow: Carl I am not a weak, wimpy woman whose afraida to speak her mind. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait just a minute here, Mr.McClure. Carl: Typical. He doesn't have the advantages to see how good the cops are like our kids have. Carl Otis Winslow: March 24th, Raoul's houseboat is beautiful. Kanye West name-dropped "Family Matters" star Steve Urkel on his My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy track, "Dark Fantasy." However, Ye originally thought a similar line rapped by T-Pain was "corny," the "Buy U A Drank" singer claims.. As reported by HipHopDX on Tuesday (Sept. 7), T-Pain says Ye stole the concept for the Urkel-referencing line after hearing a similar lyric on his .