The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you. However, is this what happens? If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. What, do you really? I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. Thank you so much for this great compliment. I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. I believe many people do not understand and appreciate the expression Im proud FOR you. Thats what I think. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. 2. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. 13. Instead of acting out of rage over . Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. And they both say that you're over and done with me. You are taking joy in someone else doing good. My mother said it to me when I graduated from college and I will never forget it. When someone tells you that they are proud of you, not only are they impressed by something you did and who you are, but they also want others to know it. 16. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. stories on the Parent Skills website are posted only as opinion or ideas, and are general in nature. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see, 43 Motivational Messages For Hard Working Boyfriend, funny excuses to ask for money from your parents, How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, 9 Best Answers To How Was Your Interview?, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 18 Best Responses To Backhanded Compliments On Social Media. I was actually kicked out of my house at 16 by her and her new husband and had financial trouble during my years in school that she had contributed to, how in the hell can she be proud of me when all she did was hinder me? Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. 2. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. Focus on what is positive in their life and avoid getting overly . B Blue Apple Senior Member This is a noble endeavor. All Rights Reserved. This will help to build your self-esteem and will help you to feel more confident. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. Im so glad to hear that. But it had a very positive impact on this one child. What if you really are proud of the person? First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. Talents Compliments. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. I have a one year old boy and a two month old boy, and I had my first day back at work yesterday. 2. Tell me something else, Ive heard this at home. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. 1. Thank you so much. 3. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. I cannot tell you how happy I am, for her, to witness her achievement and how much I admire her tenacity in overcoming all she has. The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. I dont think my children have any problem with this because they know, in many other ways, I love them dearly. Fascinating post in two regards. 8. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote Proverbs 29:23 A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. (My answer might surprise you. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. Im excited, are you? For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. Thanks, buddy! My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. I dont think there is a neutral position. I didnt expect that this would mean so much for us. . He gets a "that's nice". When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. relationship advice marriage advice Women love advice. 9. you see the work of your close friend and you tell him "I am proud of you". Larissa's writing has been published in Huffington Post Australia, Early Childhood Australia's blog 'The Spoke'; Her Canberra, Gordon Training International blog, and Generation Next blog. There may be times when he gets some details wrong, but no one is taking score about who gets the fine points right most of the time. Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. You would have to know the whole story. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. I don't think you . This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me. Can "me too" be used here? How might you feel as the worker? What Does It Mean When Someone Says I'm Proud Of You? Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. She continually updates her course with new examples and relevant material from the latest research. No. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. 5. Proud" as praise - an external judgement of someone elses achievements. Thanks for all the interresting comments and opinions on how people use the phrase Im proud of you. Family Tree. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. If someone calls you out for saying something offensive, remember that your intent can be different than your impact. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. And Ill encourage them to be proud. Words have power and they can have a profound effect on us. Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. I was excited to see your reaction. Why are you taking the credit for my effort? (I'd prefer "Congratulations! http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. If you're a friend, it's friendly. I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, Approval is a parent's judgement of a child's choices - and to a child, this feels like a judgement of them as a person. Embrace Pride There are positive reasons to listen when someone says they are proud of you. Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. "Be proud of your scars. They know I mean: I am so impressed by what you did, and proud to be able to call myself your mother. If I said this to a friend it would mean the same thing. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. A: It's not necessarily wrong to take pride in our work, of course; if we don't, our work will probably end up sloppy or incomplete. If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. You look so much better!". The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. And John is left feeling confused and despondent. It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. Granted that in many relationships, Im proud of you would strike a patronizing or otherwise false note. I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. Thanks. Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. posted by aimedwander at 4:27 PM on May 17, 2015 . The effect of this praise might be opposite to the aim of the parent. Youre the first person who is happy with it. . 7. When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. 14. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. Continually acting to seek the approval of a parent is onerous for a child. "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . May these Proud Quotes On Success inspire you to take action so that you may live your dreams. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. On Wednesday, a Proud Boy leader, Joseph . Most of the time, to be proud of someone means you know where they've been and how far they've come pride is a word about growth. They seem to make him quite happy. Tell Them You Care. I'm so proud of your painting!" It may not display this or other websites correctly. 11. What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. I guess its an odd word and I stay away from it because I know how sensitive I am to it. Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. Its very presumptuous. Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. 14. Its just a colloquialism for way to go or awesome sauce or good for you! No one means to be condescending or imply they got you there in some way. And you get to benefit from them regardless of the outcome of your relationship. 03:48. 25. 2. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. Everything you do is with excellence. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". So thank you, mom and dad! Dont just thank them, you can reply with some cute responses to let them know that youre proud the same as they are. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? Thank you. This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. 2. PJ, I will give my thoughts on your post at the end of my post. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. Im so happy to have you in my life, thanks! I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. She and I are both married. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. 5. I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? Think of things people have often praised. 4. Thank you for your kind words.. If that's the case, I suggest a change of phrase. Did I do anything extraordinary? Set realistic goals. I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. And thats enough for me. I have always seen it as, Ive been there, done that, and think you have done it too.. Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. Can't you do something different?" 15. "Always work hard, be honest, and be proud of who you are.". The Next Giant Leap. I think that the phrase really bothers me, because its like saying, Wow, I didnt think you were good enough to ever achieve -insert whatever here.- My fiance said it to me last night while I was doing the dishes. 12. You must log in or register to reply here. February 18, 2023 There are people who interpret life as if it were all about a fight of egos. I can take pride if I made a contribution, but I have to frame it that way. 27. And now, that you have the other responses to I am proud of you, you can share the same based on whos saying this and after which event. 15. One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. Congratulations to our dearest son. They may find it difficult to take pride in who they are and what they have achieved. Were brothers, dont you forget that! It's a way of congratulating someone for having accomplished something impressive. Thanks. Ah. 20 of the Best Encouraging Words that Hold any Caregivers Up 06 "Tim, I keep wondering what Dad would say if he were alive right now. But one doesn't want to say that they're not proud of their country if they're looking to lead it. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. Kids also like to know that they invoke parental prideas long as it genuine! While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. Oh, thank you, friend. Prior to going back, I asked if shed be going to the homecoming tailgate and football game. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? Since first publishing this piece, I've spent many years thinking about, and discussing, why children might like to hear their parents say "I'm proud of you". Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. It means she feels proud for what you've done or achieved. This "mental timeout" gives you the space to process the insulting remark in light of what it was; someone's thoughtlessness or an attack meant to provoke a reaction. 8. The rest were manual labourers. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). Don't remind them how far they've come. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. SFD a bit late in the day to be commenting but I think your assessment of the phrase is spot on. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? To me, if someone I respect said they were proud of me, would mean much more and have a much better and more positive effect on me than if they said Im really happy for you because the feeling of someone being proud for me includes me, my efforts and achievements, and unites me with that person who said it at the moment of saying it. 2. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. ie you have brought them up as parents and are proud of them for their achievements or manners etc. So happy for us! I live about 200 miles from the old college & she lives in the same town as the college is located. When someone says they are busy, it could mean that they are busy. Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. "I know how you feel". Be proud of you." - Oprah Winfrey 3. You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. Wondering where that may be coming from. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. He remembers things that you tell him. (I'd prefer "I'm really impressed with report - I can see how much effort you put in, and it's going to be helpful for the organisation". You are using an out of date browser. So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? Oh.. very good. Youre my friend, not my parents! . Its all because of blessings and good wishes, I could do it. 10. You haven't said who is speaking to whom. Required fields are marked *. 4 . 10. Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . Don't lose control of your emotions. I can point them out to my friends and say, Those are my sons!. With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. . Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. 2014, 2016, 2019. Initially this sit didnt sit well with me. 3. When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. They are much more aware and can see through false motivation easily. Immune Response. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? So you better know in which tone theyre saying so. Great to hear this. Thanks! Thank You. This is what makes the difference in whether the receiver feels great or resentful. After all, you were the one who put the effort into writing the report you did the research, you put the paper together. [Chorus] They say redemption's on your mind when you think about . And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014. 1. For doing what Im supposed to do? So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? . They didn't have to do that. 8. I'll help with whatever you need to make it . Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. In other words, I care so much about the other person, that their accomplishment can evoke pride in ME. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude for their words. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. When my parents tell me that they are proud of me, I generally take it to mean that they recognize something I have done on my own merit as being worthy of praise. I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. In what context? Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffeinstead of saying how happy he is for me, as hes never been belittling before. All rights reserved. Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. Thank you, mom and dad, youre the reason for this. Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. 17. 6. Try either "I'm happy for you!" or, what I find more accurate, "You bring me joy." "You bring me joy," communicates the sentiment nicely. I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) Setting goals you can achieve, also called "realist goals," reduces the chance of frustration or doubting yourself or your abilities. If parents don't 'approve' of their child, then they disapprove. ), Partner: "I'm proud of you for landing that job", While you might understand that your partner is being supportive, might you also feel a bit miffed? You are happy they are an ambassador for you. So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. 2. thats a case of someone doing one-upmanship. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. If youve finally graduated or youre the first one who got an A + in your entire family, your parents express how proud and happy you make them. Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. You: "I have so much to do and not sure how I am going to get it all done.". 8. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. In this blog, well take a look at Im proud of you and how to respond to it in a meaningful way. Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. If this is the case, then of whom is the parent really proud? Graduates: TBA, Grandparents: PET for Grandparents. Just let them be. The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. This can help to create stronger relationships and can help to create a positive and constructive environment. Based on the situation and who says this, heres a list of better responses to pick.